Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Will we ever actually see each other?

Well, here I am, alone with my notebook PC on a rainy day, thinking what a lovely time this would be to curl up by the fire and listen to the water pound the roof with someone special. But it takes so long, so very very long to meet anyone anymore.

I'm not the only impatient one. I found this post today on Craigslist::

i am not the type of guy to spend time online

i love to go out and meet new women in PERSON
not online

If that does not work for you
there are 10,000 more ads you can look at

i am specifically looking for women who are brave enough to risk a date in person

i cant feel a vibe online--only in person can i feel if i like them or not--and even then i am a patient man

it may take 3 or 4 date s for me to feel the right vibe or not

i cant always tell right away whos gonna be right

so all you women who can relate please ....lets have coffee or a beer


Friday, February 16, 2007

Nominated for best ad from a shameless golddigger

I found this on Craigslist today and it was so clever and so poetically written, I just had to give this ad some attention. If I was a guy, I'd write to her just to find out what her black lace looks like.

Captains of Industry (Financial District)

Modest genius with the potential to be a famous millionaire craves your skill in mixing business with pleasure. What makes your heart race faster--pulling off a killing in the market place or getting tangled up in black lace? Shhhh. Don't answer that yet. First tell me if you're addicted to peer pressure. Personally, I don't need to be hip and cool because I'm cute and smart. You, I hope, don't need to break the rules because you make the rules. We're both far from perfect, and that's the way we like it. Our vices are more useful than most people's virtues. Baby, let's rule the world together. I lust for your attention to detail. I await your fax.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hackers attempt to destroy Valentine's Day with Virtural VD

Hackers have now stooped so low that they're sending viruses disguised as Valentine's Day love note emails. Yes, it's a form of electronic "VD" for Valentines Day.

The sneaky messages simulate a always come from a woman's name such as Sandra, Willa, Wendy or Vicky. In these days of being virtual "friends" and lovers with thousands of people you barely know, it's easy to see why we're susceptible to computer-borne social network disease.

Panda Labs has detected the new Nurech.B worm, which arrives in emails with subject lines such as: Happy Valentine's Day," "Valentines Day Dance," "The Valentines Angel." The email attachment simulates an e-greeting card using file names like "Greeting Postcard.exe," "Greeting card.exe," or "Postcard.exe. The worm disables certain antivirus, antispyware, andsecurity applications installed on the system.

In real world dating or online dating, always use protection.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Shocking scientific research verifies online dating dishonesty

Shocking new scientific evidence revealed in this month's Scientific American that a staggering 90% of online daters lie in their personal ads.

According to the article, (and a funnier one in the Inquirer) survey research conducted by media researcher Jeana Frost of Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology suggests that about 20 percent of online daters admit to deception. If you ask them how many other people are lying, however--an interviewing tactic that probably gets closer to the truth--that number jumps to 90 percent.

The research verifies the obvious:

- On average, online profiles shave off about five pounds and add perhaps an inch in height.

- For men, the major areas of deception are educational level, income, height, age and marital status; at least 13 percent of online male suitors are thought to be married.

- For women, the major areas of deception are weight, physical appearance and age.only 1 percent of online daters listed their appearance as "less than average."

The researchers also found that the dating services themselves lie about the number of users--saying that 50 million Americans use Internet personal ads. But recent independent studies suggest that only 16 million Americans were using online dating services by late 2005 and that satisfaction levels were low.

Jupiter Research reports that "barely one quarter of users reported being very satisfied or satisfied with online personals sites." Another survey conducted by Pew Internet & American Life Projects suggests that 66 percent of Internet users even think that online dating is a "dangerous activity."

The writer concludes: "Long-term relationships take patience, skill and effort. In cyberspace, unfortunately, the bar is so long and the action so quick that few people are willing to put up with even the slightest imperfection in a potential mate. If someone is the wrong height or wears the wrong shoes or makes the wrong kind of joke, he or she is often dismissed instantly. After all, it is a simple matter to go back and click, with tens of thousands of potential mates ready to fill the void."

Friday, February 9, 2007

Casual Encounters - coming to a PC near you

I hate to be the first one to break this shocking news to you, but people everywhere have turned the Internet — mankind's greatest achievement in technology — into nothing more than a massive game of spin the bottle. Proof positive is right here, in this Internet video mockumentary that follows the libidinous misadventures of painfully unattractive people in search of the ever-elusive "friend with benefits".

I thought this film was kind of lame, but it does show that the "NSA" or Casual Encounter in Craigslist or Adult Friendfinder has become such a phenemenon that it's now parodied in an Internet TV series. Are NSAs here to stay? Do they ever accidentally lead to LTRs? Or just STDs? Stay tuned as this series continues.

I'm trying to keep an open mind about this, but personally, it feels like a sad and pathetic degradation of our relationships into the lowest common denominator -- find someone, anyone, willing to have sex, get it over with as fast as possible, wash our hands clean, pretend it never happened, go home alone to our web cam, and search for the next willing participant. Is this what mass global communication has delivered in our in box?

Thursday, February 8, 2007

I hate Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and there are painful reminders everywhere you look. You can't turn on the radio or walk into the grocery store without being bombarded with red candles, chocolates, heart shaped fuzzy furry things or teddy bears. Ugh.

It's blatantly commercial, consumerist and has absolutely nothing to do with real passion, which is a rare, fleeting moment we feel in those times of absolute timelessness, absolute immersion in the now. In honor of Valentine's Day, here is a serenade from the 70s band Nazareth, crooning: "Love Hurts."

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Cooking up chocolate passion

Photo by Chuck Stevens.
Ugh. The dreaded Valentine's Day is coming soon. If you're lucky enough to find someone in the Personals who you'd actually even consider licking chocolate off of, here are Brain Dancer's own heart-melting recipes to set the perfect stage for a romantic evening that is guaranteed to entice your special date into the kitchen—-and the bedroom.

If you’ve seen the movie Chocolat with Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp, you experienced a "taste" of a culinary aphrodisiac at work. It was a slow, lush movie showing plenty of sexy shots -- close-ups and action shots -- of one of the world's most well-known and glamorous aphrodisiacs: chocolate. The second main character Viane (Binoche) opens a chocolate shop in a provincial, abstemious French village. From the minute she sets to work making the chocolate, we witness languid ribbons of chocolate cascading from well-crafted pots into delicate china, and countless other sensual scenarios: wet lips smacking, tongues licking, people guiltily touching their fingertips in chocolate and licking them clean.

With chocolate as its sexy centerfold, the film (besides being one big chocolate commercial) accented the connection between food and sensuality. A decadent dinner could be the secret romance weapon that will bring a potential lover closer to your heart.

Date by date, nibble by nibble, there are many elements in cooking up a passionate meal:

Sensuality. In Chocolat, the food was prepared deliberately, deliciously, with care and attention, and not a little sensuality (ooh, smack, lick, aaah-h-h).

Sharing. Sometimes the characters shared conversation; sometimes they shared the little "guilty" pleasures with looks askance as if they were being quite naughty together. Food brings people together.

Caring. Most people read a partner's act of cooking for them as "caring." If your partner has a favorite meal, a favorite flavor; make the effort to produce it at home yourself. Guys cook for your ladies, ladies cook for your guys; or you can both share a bottle of wine, get a little tipsy, cook for each other and lick the cream sauce or the chocolate mousse off each other’s fingers. You might get impatient and never get around to eating!

Memories. The scent and texture of food is a powerful memory maker. You probably know this if you've passed by a bakery or restaurant and found your mind suddenly snapping back to another time in your life. If you create a meal or a dessert for an evening on which sparks fly, those food scents will be indelibly planted in your lover's mind for all time. In the future, you'll need only have that meal simmering on the stove and your partner will be getting aroused as they walk in the door.

Smooth, creamy textures. In the food world, they talk about “mouth feel.” A romantic meal has textures that are rich, smooth, creamy and buttery. Coconut milk, creamy cheeses, raw seafood, custards, sauces, whipped cream and of course, chocolate are like velvet on the tongue.

Light on the stomach (and nose!). A romantic dinner should be light and energizing – not heavy and rich. Stay away from foods that are hard to digest, pungent or just plain smelly. Avoid brie, sauerkraut, garlic, blue cheese, raw onions, curry and (for the obvious reasons) hard to digest foods like cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage and beans!

Aphrodisiacial. Some foods can increase energy, get the blood flowing, heat up the body. Legendary aphrodisiac foods include asparagus, wild mushrooms, raw oysters, ginger, vanilla beans, tropical fruits, red wine and of course, chocolate.

Serving your lover with sensual style:

Whatever it is you create, the next thing to consider is how to serve it. After all, this is lust we're talking about.

Lights, candles, action! Dim the lights low, or drape lampshades with scarves to soften the light, scatter the room with inexpensive tea candles and spin some exotic trance-like Buddah Bar beats, Billie Holliday or passionate piano music on the stereo.

A change of scene:<.span> Eat on cushions around the coffee table in the living room…on a flotaki rug, in a bean bag chair, in the tub, in the garden…in front of the fire.

A little dessert before dinner? Ask your partner to cover their eyes with their hands and serve it to him or her yourself. Hold it just under their nose and ask them to inhale the scent first. Make them eat slowly, make them lick and suck your fingers. Ad lib from here.

For couples only: Serve it on your naked body or on his naked body. Desert is optional and perhaps unnecessary!

A passionate spring menu:

Chilled Champagne
Raw oysters on the half shell with fresh lemon
Spring Salad with Baked Goat Cheese
Shrimp in Pastis with Fresh Fennel
Sensual Saffron Rice
Coconut Gelato With Fresh Mangos and Whole Strawberries
Gingered Chocolate Sauce

Spring Salad With Warm Goat Cheese

2 large handfuls of mixed baby greens, rinsed, dried and chilled.
One log of creamy goat cheese or two small goat cheese rounds (crottins)
Herbes de Provence (a dried mixture of marjoram, sage, savory and rosemary)
Olive Oil for drizzling cheese
3 tbsp. Hazelnut or virgin olive Oil
1 tsp. Shallot, finely minced
1 tbsp. red wine vinegar
Freshly ground pepper
Sea salt
A handful of toasted pinenuts

1. Slice the goat cheese into 1 inch thick circles. Toss each round in olive oil, sprinkle with the herb mixture and a grating of fresh pepper. The cheese should be quite thoroughly coated with herbs.
2. Heat the broiler until very hot. Place cheeses on a pan and grill under the broiler until lightly browned on top.
3. Place nut or oilive oil, shallot, vinegar, pepper and salt into a salad bowl and whisk until creamy. Toss ligntly with the greens.
4. Arrange half of the greens on a plate, top with warm cheese and nuts, and a grating of pepper. Serve while still warm.

Flaming Shrimp in Pastis with Fresh Fennel

1-1/4 lbs. Tiger prawns or jumbo shrimp, peeled & deveined – leave the shells on the tails.
3 Tablespoons Pastis liqeur (Pernod or Ricard)
3 Tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
4 tablespooons olive oil
1 shallot, minced
1 fennel bulb, sliced as thinly as possible
1 Tablespoon chopped parsley
1 Tablespoon minced fennel greens
Sea salt & freshly ground pepper

1. Heat the olive oil in a large sauté pan over high heat. Add the shrimp and cook about 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until just barely pink. Remove from pan.
2. Add the fennel and shallot, sauté gently until soft. Return the shrimp to the pan. Pour in the pastis; remove from the heat and flambé. (That means throw a lit match into the pan and shake the pan until the flames die down and the alcohol burns off.)
3. When the flames die, add the lemon juice, parsley, fennel greens and chives and season with salt and pepper.

Serve with good French bread or saffron rice to soak up the fantastic sauce.

Sensual Saffron Rice

Jasmine rice and saffron perfume your kitchen with a light and delightful incense and the color of saffron rice is a vivid contrast with the pink shrimp and green herbs.

2 cups jasmine rice
4 cups of water, soak a pinch of saffron in the water
1 tbsp. olive oil
1 clove garlic, pressed
1 tbsp. minced parsley

1. Heat the olive oil in a heavy-bottomed, one-quart saucepan with a tight-fitting lid. Add garlic, stir briefly until translucent. Do not burn! If you burn the garlic, wash the pan and start over again – burnt food is the opposite of aphrodisiacal!
2. Add rice and stir in the oil until rice is translucent and grains are coated with oil.
3. Add water, increase heat, bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer 15 minutes until water is absorbed.
4. Fluff rice with a fork. Toss with minced parsley before serving.

Creamy Coconut Sorbet

The rich creamy cool texture of this very simple tropical fruit sorbet will soothe your lover’s tongue. The bananas should be completely covered with black spots so they are very sweet before freezing.

1 8 oz can coconut milk, chilled
2 tbsp. maple syrup or other sweetener of choice
3 very ripe bananas, frozen.
1 tsp. Real vanilla

1. Mix all of the ingredients in a blender rapidly until smooth.
2. Eat immediately or chill before serving.
3. Serve a scoop of sorbet on a plate, with a few fresh mango slices, a berry, and drizzle the plate with warm gingered chocolate sauce. Dip whole strawberries into the sauce and feed them to your lover.

Spicy Gingered Chocolate Sauce

The best part about making this sauce is licking it off each other’s fingers!

1 six-ounce semisweet chocolate bar
1 tbsp. olive oil
honey to taste
2 tsp. Finely grated fresh ginger root
1 tsp. Real vanilla extract
3 tbsp. water
pinch of sea salt

1. In a double boiler, break up the chocolate bar into small pieces, add water, olive oil and honey to taste.
2. Stir with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula until smooth. Do not overheat.
3. Squeeze the ginger juice through a fine cloth (a clean handkerchief or cheesecloth) into the sauce. Add vanilla. Taste for sweetness and adjust the flavorings as needed. Add a very small pinch of sea salt to taste. (The salt makes the sauce seem buttery.)

All recipes are originals by BrainDancer. Please refer back to this blog url and give me credit if you republish them.

Monday, February 5, 2007

The disastrous effects of Match.com

"The Disastrous Effects of Match.com and What Women Can Do About It" is an essay that appeared last week in the Washington Post sending shockwaves through the internet dating industry.

It's about time that someone in the mainstream media had the guts to admit what dozens of bloggers have been observing for years now -- online dating has drastically changed the ways we relate offline by giving everyone a false sense of unlimited opportunities. (Or why "Online Dating Sucks" returns more than 2,000 hits in Google including a multitude of blogs devoted to the subject.)

While the anonymous writer of this essay is pretty much in alignment with what I've been bitching and moaning about for months now, I do have to say she unfairly excluded the male side of this story. (Men complain that women are all out to find a venture capitalist, millionaire or a guy who looks like Brad Pitt.) Here's an excerpt from the essay:

Jennifer Aniston. Christie Brinkley. Sheryl Crow. Teri Hatcher. Either dumped or cheated on in a most humiliating and public way.

Every woman in the dating world has thought, "If it can happen to her, it can happen to me." While he's snoring away, we think quietly at night about what we can do to make sure it doesn't happen to us.

We respond by trying to make our stomachs flatter, our boobs bigger, our faces prettier, and our clothes tighter and more revealing. We do everything possible to please our man. You prefer French cooking? Mais oui, mon cher! You want my hair long? No problem, I'll get a hair extension. Spending part of your vacation with buddies? Go have a good time. You don't want to be with my family on Christmas? I'll see you on New Year's Eve. Is that OK or would you prefer some other time? Do you like my mani-pedi'd, spray on tanned, liposuctioned, Pilates body? Can't commit? Oh, that's right. You're just not that into me. Or her. Or her. Or her.

What the hell has happened? Three words. Match dot com. Match.com and other online dating services have given men access to thousands and thousands of women in every city who look just as great in jeans and a little black dress (the requirement in every man's profile), a smorgasbord of women each one more delicious to devour than the next...


Friday, February 2, 2007

If you can get over your ovaries, I'll discipline my testicles

This personal ad in "Men Seeking Women" on Craiglist is outrageous. I love the headline. Will men ever discipline their testicles? Will we ever stop being ruled by our baser, biological instincts and rise above them to a new level of conscious relating? Or is that just too new age woo-woo for this guy?


I'm looking for a SF city woman that can enjoy the relationship in the present, without too much of agenda and trading the futures. If you care if we fcuk or don't fcuk on the first date, if you are looking for a potential husband or if you care about my tax bracket I am not interested in you. Also, to be stimulated, I need extremely clever, eloquent, literate and educated, sexy and sex loving, fit woman, not fucked up with new age/mysticism/religion, without TV and with identity independent from consumer items, pop culture or class (and if you can differentiate between your yours, you'res and youres, that makes me mad with passion.)

Obviously, the intersection of the above specs among SF female population is near-zero. Maybe 6-7, but they are all taken, with a long waiting list.

So what we need here is a freak accident, a probabilistic singularity, a counter-intuitive event against all odds, something less probable than politician uttering the truth, that one of those is reading this stuff.

I am degreed, wide interests, non-mainstream, tall & fit, good looking, big ick, and addicted to improbable outcomes.

Please use a few caps in the reply.