Yet another class action lawsuit against an online dating site

Most online dating services deliberately make it darn near impossible to resign -- finally consumers are fighting back against this unethical and sneaky practice. If they have to work so hard to keep members -- one has to wonder about the real value any of these sites provide.

A lawsuit has been filed against TrueBeginnings, LLC, the owner and operator of the TRUE.com online dating website. The lawsuit seeks certification of a class action on behalf of TRUE customers who were charged service fees by TRUE after cancelling their subscriptions.

Allegedly TRUE bills its former subscribers service fees after they have attempted to cancel their subscriptions over the phone. TRUE charges fees in excess of $50 per month and advertises on its website that memberships can be cancelled at any time. However, only over the phone. The lawsuit also seeks an injunction prohibiting the enforcement of a provision in TRUE's terms granting it a perpetual, world-wide license to use, distribute or display all information - including photographs - submitted by subscribers. Wong v. True Beginnings, LLC, has been filed in the District Court of Dallas County, Texas and the Plaintiff is represented by Tycko & Zavareei LLP and Crews, Shepherd & McCarty LLP. Contact: Jonathan Tycko, 202-973-0900. FULL ARTICLE @ EARTHTIMES

Shocking scientific research verifies online dating dishonesty

Shocking new scientific evidence revealed in this month's Scientific American that a staggering 90% of online daters lie in their personal ads.

According to the article, (and a funnier one in the Inquirer) survey research conducted by media researcher Jeana Frost of Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology suggests that about 20 percent of online daters admit to deception. If you ask them how many other people are lying, however--an interviewing tactic that probably gets closer to the truth--that number jumps to 90 percent.

The research verifies the obvious:

- On average, online profiles shave off about five pounds and add perhaps an inch in height.

- For men, the major areas of deception are educational level, income, height, age and marital status; at least 13 percent of online male suitors are thought to be married.

- For women, the major areas of deception are weight, physical appearance and age.only 1 percent of online daters listed their appearance as "less than average."

The researchers also found that the dating services themselves lie about the number of users--saying that 50 million Americans use Internet personal ads. But recent independent studies suggest that only 16 million Americans were using online dating services by late 2005 and that satisfaction levels were low.

Jupiter Research reports that "barely one quarter of users reported being very satisfied or satisfied with online personals sites." Another survey conducted by Pew Internet & American Life Projects suggests that 66 percent of Internet users even think that online dating is a "dangerous activity."

The writer concludes: "Long-term relationships take patience, skill and effort. In cyberspace, unfortunately, the bar is so long and the action so quick that few people are willing to put up with even the slightest imperfection in a potential mate. If someone is the wrong height or wears the wrong shoes or makes the wrong kind of joke, he or she is often dismissed instantly. After all, it is a simple matter to go back and click, with tens of thousands of potential mates ready to fill the void."

I admit it, I was rejected 7,365 times

Can I admit here the embarassing fact that during a year, 7,365 men viewed my profile on Match.com -- and yet I got only about five actual dates from it? So does that mean I'm a total babe and everyone wants to look at my photo -- or that I've been rejected by a staggering seven thousand men? (That could be every man in my age range in the entire city of San Francisco!) It might be painful, but useful, to know why they clicked on to the next. Is it because I'm unconventional and one of a kind and too gorgeous and brilliant and out of their league? Or wierd and repulsive and needy and clingy?

A feedback loop might give me insights into what I'm writing in my profile (or scary relationship ideals I'm admitting that I want) that sends these guys boomeranging back into cyberspace.

Over at Online Dating Insider, David Evans writes: "Who's Viewed Me Is Only The Beginning"

"The ability to know who has viewed your profile is a mixed blessing. On one hand, you may be exposed to people who are out of your normal search criteria. On the other, lack of people viewing your profile can be taken as a sign it's time to revise your essay and photographs. Or that you will never get another date unless you get a haircut. There is room for some sort of peer review service in there somewhere.

One one hand, I want to know who and what type of women find me appealing. On the other, I don't know anything more than that they have seen my profile and clicked on my photo. I want to know what their immediate reaction was. Mild butterflies or disgust? Were they reaching for the delete key or the Wink button?

Until dating sites provide (in a non-threatening comfortable way) greater transparency into the searcher-searchee process the majority of singles will continue to choose traditional matchmaking and social interaction over online dating sites (which are really introduction sites, as no one actually dates online.)"

A rating service (anononymously, perhaps) would really add value to online dating. I think David has a brilliant idea.

Integrity -- the missing ingredient in Internet dating

This article was written by my friend, Tonja Weimer, a dating coach. I am reprinting it here for you. Integrity is the character that is bereft in the world of online dating. The lying, double timing, misrepresentation, and hurtfulness experienced by so many Internet ad daters is epidemic and it's poisoning the potential of the Internet to help us sift through the millions of potential stars in the universe to find our one true partner.

Why are so many people in cyberspace just looking for a quick hook up, satisfaction of only our basest, lowest-chakra instincts instead of elevating their quest to a higher love?

Why are so many married people using the Internet to cheat on their partners?

Why are so many single people stringing on a series of seductions, dangling people with the tantalizing promise of a relathonship, only to flee and abandon them as soon as they click on to the next?

Is online dating to blame or is it simply a reflection of the sickness of the world at large? Are people who date only "in the real world" more ethical and honest than Internet daters?

Honesty and integrity isn't just something we bring to our love relationships -- it's something we need to expand in every aspect of our lives.

Tonja writes a column on dating published in more than one million newspapers. You can visit Tonja's website for more information.

Integrity

Life coaches often quote one of my favorite poems, The Invitation, by Indian elder Oriah Mountain Dreamer. When people read it or hear it, you can see an instant response on their faces--an Aha! moment.

The poem calls each of us to examine the degree of integrity we bring to our lives:

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing..."

How closely we live our life in alignment with what we deeply desire brings us into our integrity. The greater our integrity, the more we are able to connect with others on a meaningful level. Some people are born into families that live and model integrity, and therefore, they carry integrity with them into every aspect of their lives.

Some people discover their values and what is most important to them after experiencing loss and resurrection. And others search for a substantive life in every conversation, sermon, class, or counseling session they find themselves in, looking for answers that will illuminate their way towards deeper meaning.

Whatever path one takes to arrive at the core of what matters to them, they bring that great richness to the relationship with their life partner.

"It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive..."

Having integrity is a choice. Ask yourself:

1.. Where does my life lack integrity right now and how do I know this.? Am I guilty, judgmental, defensive, or incessantly distracted so I don't have to face what I am running away from?

2.. What five big or small changes could I make right now that would restore my integrity?

3.. What would it take for me to live a life of no tolerations? What energy drainers have I been putting up with?

If you know that you are doing things that are hurting you, holding you back, keeping you hidden behind people or places, and you are not implementing systems that would make your life work, you do not have enough integrity to sustain the quality of life you long for.

Visualize what your life would look and feel like if you lived in a state of calm and grace, doing work that you felt passionate about, surrounded by people who loved and supported you. Visualize this often because--this is what you deserve.

The last lines of the poem speak to the heart of integrity:

" It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."

NSA Is For Losers

I found the NSA Is For Losers tribe on Tribe.net So far, it only attracted 26 members. Guess there are more people into No Strings Attached, fly by night, flingy relationships than the stringy, messy kind -- at least on Tribe:

!!NSA is for LOSERS!!

This tribe is for those of us tired of selfish egomaniacal failures hiding behind the guise of NSA for their own pathetic purposes. This is an angry tribe - mainly for women, queers, and people interested in creating a world where romance is honest and free of self serving players. MISOGYNISTS stay away!!!

Then someone responded:

NSA?

I'm a bit of a n00b here so please forgive me. what does NSA stand for?

I'm assuming it's not National Security Agency, National Stroke Association, National Sheriffs' Association, National Society of Accountants or National Shellfisheries Association. I guess Google doesn't have an answer for everything.

Spammed personals

This is a first -- today I got a personal ad spam in my in-box. Someone obviously found a spam list for personal ad members, or possibly even the email address from this blog, set up a spam list and blasted their personal ad to the entire Western Hemisphere, from what it looks like.

Curiously, the spam romancer isn't seeking marriage, but a relationship with "discretion" with a woman he can trust.

And this great catch even has his own fish pond -- a first for me, indeed.

--------------------------------------------------

I am by the name Nelson 35 years of age, from Nigeria, I want to bring this to your notice that I have an interest in you.

For me to be seeking a discreet mature woman in you, i have finally decided to go forth with what i am seeking. I will be totally honest, I am a professional computer scientist. I also owned a Fish Pond which is still under development.

What i am seeking is to meet a woman that is interested in meeting me. I am only looking for life partner, and I believe you can be, just one that i can feel comfortable with, trust and is on the same level as I am as far as what we both are seeking.

Your age, race and weight are not as important as your seriousness and maturity level. I am open to you because I know I would be comfortable with you. I am of height 179 with an athletic build. I have black hair and black eyes, a great smile and an easygoing personality. I'm not the pushy type and always respect others.

Discretion is a must along with playing safe. If you find an interest and feel that this is something you would like to do, So whatever your age, race, shape, size or maritial status let me know if you are interested. Sincerly I'm easy-going and mellowed. I enjoy having fun, laughing and I like to stay active. I'm in good shape, healthy and fit. I'm genuine, honest and down-to-earth. I'm caring and friendly, and I'm content with things in my life. I like movies and eating out, playing golf. I live alone and have a good stable job. I enjoy the outdoors, sports, movies. music, cooking and traveling. I also enjoy being at home and relaxing, listening to music or having good conversation with friends which I believe you would make good example.
I hope all the above qualities suits your desire.

Lastly, I am looking forward to a relationship that will be build on a strong foundation of honest, hence, we have a lot in common in our qualities which I believe will make us to be compartable.

Looking forward to your reply soonest.

Thanks and God Bless.o