Hey, you look familiar. We met in Reality.

Well, in the interest of more material for this blog, I thought about putting myself back on the market. The online dating market.

I get a lot of offers for dates out here in the "real world" and my utter disgust with Internet dating has reached the point where I've pretty much given up on it, but in the interest of blogging, and the eternal hope that someone on the Web might be better than whomever I've been meeting here in Reality, I freshened up my profile again.

It's been at least a year. But as I browsed around, I discovered at least half the guys I met in the last round were still hanging out, profiles a little frayed and dusty, still single, still hunting for woman who are prettier, younger and hotter than they probably deserve.

And then I saw him.

_____________! A man I've been seeing kind of on and off again, who I've known for years now. I guess you'd call it one of those mythical "friendships with benefits" -- a convenient, low profile "thing" where we see each other and hang out between stints of dating other people. Something safe because it's not too challenging. Something easy because there's not much at stake. Something comfortable, but always naggingly deficient.

He says he's not in love with me and that's not his role with me. I say he's too superficial and shallow.

He's always trying to get me to eat at Burger King and thinks Organic food is a ripoff. I'm a vegetarian and health food fanatic.

I think his house is barren and cold. He thinks I have too much clutter.

He thinks I'm too old. I think his trendy friends are shallow and inmature.

He's a skeptic. I'm a believer.

Hey, but as Woody Allen said in Annie Hall: We do it for the eggs. It's there and it's safe and we always kind of sheepishly retreat to each other when nothing else pans out.

But sometimes, he rocks my world. We like to ski, we go to the beach, we almost never fight, we cook dinner together, we encourage each other. He's supportive and grounded, he fixes my bicycle and brings my computer up after a crash. We enjoy the simple things, and over the years, our shallow relationship has acquired a patina of depth that comes with familiarity.

And here he is, on _______.com. "Wow!" I thought. "He's really cute." Not just that, but his profile was...surprisingly interesting. Intriguing. Sincere. He grew up Catholic? I had no idea. He's an atheist? We never talked about it before. He used to have a ponytail and was clean shaven? I've only known him short haired with a beard.

How many years did I have to know someone in the "real world" before I learn these things than any stranger with a modem has total access to?

He wants meet a girl within biking distance of his house? Who likes to have deep philosophical discussions? Well, actually, I fit the bill perfectly.

We met in the real world the natural way, dancing. The chemistry was instantaneous and raging. But here I stumble on him on the web and think, well, actually, he looks pretty hot here too. Would I have passed on this one, I wonder? Or would I have clicked for more? Would he have responded? Or would I be outside his age range?

Do we actually have a better chance of meeting "out here" where chemistry can overcome the laundry list -- or on the web where we can get all those things out of the way before the hormones take over?

So it all makes me wonder, you know... does the very existence of this global online candy store of unlimited options make us overlook something pretty good within biking distance? Would we have progressed into something deeper if it was harder to meet new people and there weren't so many perceived options? Or is the real promise of the Internet the ability to find our absolute soulmate - not just someone "comfortable". Not just someone "nice to be with" and "good enough"?

Will we ever actually see each other?

Well, here I am, alone with my notebook PC on a rainy day, thinking what a lovely time this would be to curl up by the fire and listen to the water pound the roof with someone special. But it takes so long, so very very long to meet anyone anymore.

I'm not the only impatient one. I found this post today on Craigslist::

i am not the type of guy to spend time online

i love to go out and meet new women in PERSON
not online

If that does not work for you
there are 10,000 more ads you can look at

i am specifically looking for women who are brave enough to risk a date in person

i cant feel a vibe online--only in person can i feel if i like them or not--and even then i am a patient man

it may take 3 or 4 date s for me to feel the right vibe or not

i cant always tell right away whos gonna be right

so all you women who can relate please ....lets have coffee or a beer

asap.

Nominated for best ad from a shameless golddigger

I found this on Craigslist today and it was so clever and so poetically written, I just had to give this ad some attention. If I was a guy, I'd write to her just to find out what her black lace looks like.


Captains of Industry (Financial District)

Modest genius with the potential to be a famous millionaire craves your skill in mixing business with pleasure. What makes your heart race faster--pulling off a killing in the market place or getting tangled up in black lace? Shhhh. Don't answer that yet. First tell me if you're addicted to peer pressure. Personally, I don't need to be hip and cool because I'm cute and smart. You, I hope, don't need to break the rules because you make the rules. We're both far from perfect, and that's the way we like it. Our vices are more useful than most people's virtues. Baby, let's rule the world together. I lust for your attention to detail. I await your fax.

Hackers attempt to destroy Valentine's Day with Virtural VD

Hackers have now stooped so low that they're sending viruses disguised as Valentine's Day love note emails. Yes, it's a form of electronic "VD" for Valentines Day.

The sneaky messages simulate a always come from a woman's name such as Sandra, Willa, Wendy or Vicky. In these days of being virtual "friends" and lovers with thousands of people you barely know, it's easy to see why we're susceptible to computer-borne social network disease.

Panda Labs has detected the new Nurech.B worm, which arrives in emails with subject lines such as: Happy Valentine's Day," "Valentines Day Dance," "The Valentines Angel." The email attachment simulates an e-greeting card using file names like "Greeting Postcard.exe," "Greeting card.exe," or "Postcard.exe. The worm disables certain antivirus, antispyware, andsecurity applications installed on the system.

In real world dating or online dating, always use protection.

Shocking scientific research verifies online dating dishonesty

Shocking new scientific evidence revealed in this month's Scientific American that a staggering 90% of online daters lie in their personal ads.

According to the article, (and a funnier one in the Inquirer) survey research conducted by media researcher Jeana Frost of Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology suggests that about 20 percent of online daters admit to deception. If you ask them how many other people are lying, however--an interviewing tactic that probably gets closer to the truth--that number jumps to 90 percent.

The research verifies the obvious:

- On average, online profiles shave off about five pounds and add perhaps an inch in height.

- For men, the major areas of deception are educational level, income, height, age and marital status; at least 13 percent of online male suitors are thought to be married.

- For women, the major areas of deception are weight, physical appearance and age.only 1 percent of online daters listed their appearance as "less than average."

The researchers also found that the dating services themselves lie about the number of users--saying that 50 million Americans use Internet personal ads. But recent independent studies suggest that only 16 million Americans were using online dating services by late 2005 and that satisfaction levels were low.

Jupiter Research reports that "barely one quarter of users reported being very satisfied or satisfied with online personals sites." Another survey conducted by Pew Internet & American Life Projects suggests that 66 percent of Internet users even think that online dating is a "dangerous activity."

The writer concludes: "Long-term relationships take patience, skill and effort. In cyberspace, unfortunately, the bar is so long and the action so quick that few people are willing to put up with even the slightest imperfection in a potential mate. If someone is the wrong height or wears the wrong shoes or makes the wrong kind of joke, he or she is often dismissed instantly. After all, it is a simple matter to go back and click, with tens of thousands of potential mates ready to fill the void."

Casual Encounters - coming to a PC near you

I hate to be the first one to break this shocking news to you, but people everywhere have turned the Internet — mankind's greatest achievement in technology — into nothing more than a massive game of spin the bottle. Proof positive is right here, in this Internet video mockumentary that follows the libidinous misadventures of painfully unattractive people in search of the ever-elusive "friend with benefits".

I thought this film was kind of lame, but it does show that the "NSA" or Casual Encounter in Craigslist or Adult Friendfinder has become such a phenemenon that it's now parodied in an Internet TV series. Are NSAs here to stay? Do they ever accidentally lead to LTRs? Or just STDs? Stay tuned as this series continues.

I'm trying to keep an open mind about this, but personally, it feels like a sad and pathetic degradation of our relationships into the lowest common denominator -- find someone, anyone, willing to have sex, get it over with as fast as possible, wash our hands clean, pretend it never happened, go home alone to our web cam, and search for the next willing participant. Is this what mass global communication has delivered in our in box?

I hate Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and there are painful reminders everywhere you look. You can't turn on the radio or walk into the grocery store without being bombarded with red candles, chocolates, heart shaped fuzzy furry things or teddy bears. Ugh.

It's blatantly commercial, consumerist and has absolutely nothing to do with real passion, which is a rare, fleeting moment we feel in those times of absolute timelessness, absolute immersion in the now. In honor of Valentine's Day, here is a serenade from the 70s band Nazareth, crooning: "Love Hurts."